14 weeks 5 days

Hello,
So, back to the doctor I went on Friday. We had an ultrasound first which was supposed to be just a limited one, meaning checking for a heart beat and such, but it still was like 20 minutes. The babies were moving around but not as crazy as last week thank goodness. Thier heart rates were 148 and 150, so similar to last week. They were all streched out from thier head to their toes. Thier legs looked so long, it was the first time we had really seen them because they are usually bent. It was neat to see. For the first time ever the doctor didnt come in during the ultrasound so we were put in an exam room. We saw the same doctor as last week which was good because it makes things a little bit more consistent. It still amazes me how little a physcian doesnt want to sugar coat anything. I figured since this is the first time sitting down with him, instead of before when they are just staring at the ultrasound, I would take advantage of it and just start asking tons of questions. Poor guy, it probably was 30 minutes of my questions when all he needed to tell me was everything looked fine this week. But listen to these questions and some of his responses. (We do really like him and all of our doctors, they are just very to the point.)

1. So, is the reason you want to see me weekly mainly to make sure that thier hearts are still beating? (He had just told us to make the next 3 appointments so the schedule wouldnt fill up.)

Response: Yes, we feel that we need to make sure they are viable each week because if something were to happen we would like to take care of it as soon as possible so you can move on with your lives and try again.

Ouch, like I said straght to the point..now you know why im nervous btw each ultrasound.

2. If one baby dies, will the other one?

Response: In this situation, in most cases yes. They share all vascular systems so when one passes it influxes to the other killing it as well. (This could vary after the babies are viable, but for now that is the scenario.)

3. Have you seen many successes?

Response: Yes, I have seen successes but on the other hand I have seen failures as well.
(Did I ask about your failures?)

4. Is there ever a point when Im any safer?

Response: No. This is a complicated situation. Right now the babies are so fragile and so cord problems happen a lot but on the other hand once the cords are knotted and they are growing, as the cords grow and get thicker, the tighter the knots get causing restriction. Its really a day to day thing and one week they could be fine and the next not. There is just not good research with how rare these kind of multiples are to suggest otherwise at this time.

I asked lots of other questions too. But you can kind of see why I leave feeling emotional at times. He made good suggestions like meeting with a neonatologist prior to making a hospital admission date ranging from 24-28 weeks. That way we can learn about the differences in the weeks and so forth. But like I said we do really like them but man do they really hold nothing back. He did in confidence give us some information about what would be different at Vanderbilt which made since from Adam and I working there. (He only did this because I kept prying into why his whole group left.)

I have been trying to be more positive and I think I have been somewhat better but when you really think of them its so hard when you feel like natures forces in the body are against the situation.
I asked many other numerous questions and at least I felt like he was trying to answer them honestly and I didnt feel like he was trying to rush out on me. Which means a lot.

I cant bring myself still to do anything for them. (i.e, registry, thinking about the nursery) I dont know how I even feel about a shower at this point. I hear about some people doing them after the babies are born in certain situations or even during my hospital stay. But who knows, right now things are just so early and everything is scary.

My migraines have been going absolutly crazy. I mean the worst ever I think. I went and got nerve blocks recently but they prove to not be working. They left me in bed all day Saturday and most of today.

Well, I see Dr. Cassidy on Thursday and back to the high risk group on Friday.

So the picture below is of baby A. You cant see the head very well but u can see how the legs are all the way streched out. So cute.




This is baby B. Much better picture than last week.