So, today is the first full day of knowing what is going on inside of me. I chose to be optimistic this morning when I got to work. I decided I was going to tell people now because it is a lot harder to keep a secret of this magnitude. My co-workers were extremely compassionate and were very optimistic that these babies would be fine. I was glad it was my half day though because I have just been emotionally drained. On my way out of work, Dr. Cassidy's nurse called and said that my progesterone levels were indeed low and she would going to start me on a supplement twice daily. She said the studies have been controversial about wether the pill works or not but reports it is never a bad idea to have faith it will work. Progesterone is responsible for thickening the uterine walls to maintain a pregnancy. I hope this brings up the babies heart rates and hope protect against a miscarriage.
All of our families know now and have been supportive. I know its hard for them to find the words to say and I know they are praying that everything will be fine. I on the other hand, I came home and started looking up material on the babies. I came across an article that said these babies usually only have a 50% chance. There went my optimism right out of the window. I was devastated and even more emotional now. My brain is not comprehending all of this.
When I got home I was already cramping quite a bit so I laid with the heating blanket. I was also exhausted so I came home and slept until 430. Its funny though because I feel as if I haven't slept in days. I suppose its the load of information Ive been getting. I have also just felt distant from the things I like. For example, I hate being on this computer now and don't really want to look at the TV, so I just usually have it on in the background and I just lay there motionless because I don't want to do anything else or move because I'm so tired. I'm also cramping so bad I don't want to leave the house.
Adam was very sweet today, he said he is more excited now for our babies then he was before we knew anything. What a great man.
I love you my precious miracle babies and I wont give up hope for you. (No matter how sick you make me feel). I love you.
3 comments:
I had a weekly progesterone shot, which of course, was still experimental and they don't know for sure if it is beneficial or how beneficial it was, but hey, I figured it turned out well, so maybe it helped? It's worth trying anything to increase the chances for those little ones!
I agree...and so far it has been good so I choose to think it is working! At least I dont have to take a shot.
I'll tell you about these later. I say, they can't hurt, so keep it up!
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